


I'm Your Stepdad Now

by shickzander



Series: Shickfic Cinimatic Universe [3]
Category: Peppa Pig (Cartoon), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Comedy, F/M, THIS IS SATIRE, oops surprise guest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:00:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26123122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shickzander/pseuds/shickzander
Summary: Deku is tired of Bakugou's constant bullying, so he decides to do the one thing that'll put Bakugou in his place forever.He's gonna become his step dad.
Relationships: Bakugou Mitsuki & Midoriya Izuku
Series: Shickfic Cinimatic Universe [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2058300
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15





	I'm Your Stepdad Now

"Ouch." Midoriya cries as Bakugou kicks him in his shin. Bakugou laughs maniacally. "Hahah." He laughs. "Go cry to your mommy since it's all you know how to do."   
"I'll do you one better." Midoriya declared. "I'm gonna cry to YOUR mom!"  
"Wait what?" Bakugou was aghast, but Midoriya was too busy running to Bakugou's house to notice.   
When he got there, Mitsuki was making cookies with all the spices just like her awful garbage child liked. She smiled at him. "Hello Izuku."   
"Mitsuki, I need you to leave your husband for me."   
"Excuse me what?"   
"You need a real man in your life, one that's not afraid to cry at every minor inconvenience."   
"My god, you're right." Mitsuki gaped. "I'm filing for divorce right now." She called up her lawyer and immediately filed for divorce. "It's settled. We're engaged now."   
"Cool."

•••

Bakugou didn't know why his mother had called a family meeting but he didn't have a good feeling about it at all. As he walked into the kitchen, he was surprize to see his mom and dad at the table and his dad was crying.   
"Son, your mother and I are g-getting a divoooorce." He sobbed.   
"What? But I don't want two Christmases!" Bakugou stamped his foot. "This is not fair!"   
"You won't have to have two christmasses." Mitsuki assured him. "I'm taking everything in the divorce and leaving your father with nothing. He won't be giving you Christmas."   
"Oh. Okay then."   
"Also I'm getting remarried."   
"Remarried? But then I'd have two dads and that's kinda gay!" Bakugou shouted. "Who is my new gay dad anyway?"   
"I think you know him already." Mitsuki said as a figure appeared in the doorway.   
"It's me!" Midoriya entered the room with a chadly strut, immediately making out with Bakugou's mom.   
"What the fuck no!" Bakugou cried out. "You can't be my new stepdad! I forbid it!"  
"You can't forbid shit, son." Midoriya cackled. "I'm your dad now!"   
"Nooooo! You're not my dad yet! You haven't even married my mom!"  
"No, but I did something else with her. Now go to your room, Kacchan!"   
"Fuck you! I'm running away!"   
"Go ahead. You won't get any dinner if you do."   
"I don't care! I hate this fucking family!"   
"You watch your mouth, young man. I will have no swearing under my fucking roof!" Deku scolded. Bakugou tucked his tail between his legs because he also happened to be a werewolf for unspecified reasons.   
"I'm going to play video games."   
"You can't do that. No son of mine is going to be a (ugh) gamer." He shuddered. "I've already confiscated your playstation and Xbox."   
"But I need my consoles to call ten year olds gay on call of duty. It's my only reason for living!"   
"Your new reason for living is chores. Here's your list." Deku gave Bakugou a list of chores that he had to do every night.   
"This isn't fair!" Bakugou stormed off to his room, dropping onto his bed and screaming into his pillow.  
This was the worst day of his life.

•••

Life as Bakugou's stepfather was glorious. He could control bedtimes, who Bakugou was allowed to hand out with, and when he was supposed to come home after school.   
Bakugou was pissed all the time but there was nothing he could do about it because Midoriya was the dad now. Midoriya OWNED him.   
But there was one downside to fucking Bakugou's mom, and that was that sometimes mother fucking ended in something bad.   
"Bakugou, we have news." Mitsuki said over dinner one morning.   
"You're calling off the wedding and taking my real dad back?" Bakugou guessed.   
"No. You're going to have a new brother or sister."   
"What the fuck mom? You know this guy is younger than me, your son, right. Are you even sure it's deku's? I'm surprised he can even have kids after all the times I kicked him in the nuts growing up."   
"Kacchan, I'm afraid you're going to have to drop out of school to get a job. This family can't provide for more than one child."   
"WHAT THE FUCK?"   
"No swearing at the dinner table, mister. Do you want another night in the broom cupboard?"   
"You're the ones who got pregnant. Why should I have to get a job?"   
"Because we need to start saving up so Izuku can go to law school." Mitsuki explained. "And he can't get a job because he's busy with school."   
"But IM busy with school. What even is this situation? I hate this!"   
"I'm sorry Katsuki, but that's just life.   
"Fuck this. I'm leaving." Bakugou left.   
"Well, at least we have another kid that'll turn out better." Midoriya shrugged.   
Finally. He had gotten rid of his awful stepson.

•••

This was the LAST fucking straw for Bakugou. How DARE Deku become his step dad?! How DARE he make mom pay his way through law school?! And how DARE he wear that hat with those shoes?!   
It was time to take action.   
He went to the discount army surplus store, the one he bought most of his clothing at tbh, and bought a bunch of dynamite and fireworks with money he earned drawing art for furries. Thank you furries btw for being notoriously wonderful clients for artists. You're all p cool tbh.   
But before he could reach his home and blow it up, he heard a voice.   
"Where do you think you're going, oink?"   
That's right, folks. This fanfic happens to be a sequel to "Pig Assault- Peppa Pig vs Inosuke" and peppa has arrived in all her glory.   
"P-peppa Pig? But I thought my good friend Inosuke Hashibira went off into the woods to vanquish you?!"   
"I made short work of that pathetic creature." Peppa reached her big meaty hand toward Bakugou.   
"You mean you killed my best friend and confidant, Inosuke Hashibira?! That's awful. I must avenge him!"   
But Bakugou was weak. All the years of picking on smaller kids hadn't prepared him for the final boss.   
However, as Peppa Pig was crushing him inside her hand, he heard another voice.   
"Hey! Leave my son alone!" Deku punched Peppa Pig and she exploded instantly.   
Bakugou fell to the ground, coughing slightly. "D-dadku?"   
"I'm here son."  
"How did you defeat her? Even I couldn't do it and I play wii fit."   
"I learned from the best." Deku gestured toward Saitama who had trained him.   
"Wow I guess I underestimated you. I forgive you for becoming my step dad."   
"Thank you, Kacchan. Now, let's go home. Your mom is making a casserole for dinner. I'll let you eat at the kitchen table instead of the dog dish tonight."   
"Yaaaaay." Bakugou cheered. "I love you daddy."   
An unlikely family was born that day, one that would remain strong forever. Bakugou got a little sister and he doted on her even tho she was deku's kid. Also he got cured of lycanthropy.   
The end. :)


End file.
